Page 8 - Healthcare News 2025 Senior Planning Guide

Having the Talk
Ten Tips on How to Approach a Difficult Topic
By the AARP Foundation
The reality is that some conversations are
just plain difficult
—
even with the people to
whom you feel the closest. When preparing
to discuss a difficult topic like senior care needs, it
helps to follow the ground rules below to ensure
that everyone’s feelings are respected and view-
points are heard. To help make the conversation as
productive and positive as possible:
1. Try not to approach the conversation with
preconceived ideas about what your loved ones
might say or how they might react. “Dad, I just
wanted to have a talk about what you want. Let’s
just start with what is important to you.”
2. Approach the conversation with an attitude of
listening, not telling. “Dad, have you thought about
what you want to do if you needed more help?”
—
as opposed to “we really need to talk about a plan
if you get sick.”
3. Make references to yourself and your own
thoughts about what you want for the future. Let
them know they are not alone, that everyone will
have to make these decisions. “Look, I know this
isn’t fun to think about or talk about, but I really
want to know what’s important to you. I’m going to
do the same thing for myself.”
4. Be very straightforward with the facts. Do
not hide negative information, but also be sure to
acknowledge and build on family strengths. “As
loved ones draw conclusions and make the choices.
“Mom, do you think you might want a hand with
some of the housekeeping or shopping?”
6. Give your loved ones room to get angry
or upset, but address these feelings calmly. “I
understand all this is really hard to talk about. It is
upsetting for me, too. But it’s important for all of us
to discuss.”
7. Leave the conversation open. It’s OK to
continue the conversation at another time. “Dad,
it’s OK if we talk about this more later. I just wanted
you to start thinking about how you would handle
some of these things.”
8. Make sure everyone is heard
—
especially
those family members who might be afraid to tell
you what they think. “Susan, I know this is really
hard for you. What do you think about what we are
suggesting?”
9. End the conversation on a positive note. “This
is a hard conversation for both of us, but I really
appreciate you having it.”
10. Plan something relaxing or fun after the
conversation to remind everyone why you enjoy
being a family. Go out to dinner, attend services
together, or watch a favorite TV program.
These are just a few suggestions of things you,
your loved ones, and other family members can do
to unwind after a difficult conversation. n
“Make references to yourself and
your own thoughts about what
you want for the future. Let them
know they are not alone, that
everyone will have to make these
decisions.”
time goes on, it might be difficult to stay in this
house because of all the stairs, but you have other
options. Let’s talk about what those might be.”
5. Phrase your concerns as questions, letting your
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